Questions

In our advanced word power class we were given our first list of higher level words. I was not sure I was going to remember the definitions if I had not used them. I was having a bad day and had the need to write a poem. When I write poems I am able to express myself in a way that I normally cannot. As I wrote I threw in some of the words on our list and felt like I had such an easier time with expressing myself.


12/3/09
I am interdicted,
Interdicted to show my emotions.

The moment I do
I open myself
open my mouth
I pique
the world

The same plot repeats,
Again the stress is here,
Stress
Stress
Stress
Pushing me,
past the point,
of no feeling.

the antecedents
of my life
creep slowly
to the front of my mind

how loathsome it is
not to feel.
I feel no emotions
Again
AGAIN

I feel the tears
Ready to fall
Away from my body
Away from two
burned out orbs orbs
that no longer work

aversion is all around me
sucking me down
away from myself?
away from my façade?
Away from my feelings?
Away from my thoughts?

I am done
Again events happening
Replaying
Happening

I will sink and die,
Then resuscitated
Against my will
Forced to move on
Forced to be happy
Forced to fake it
Fake me

It starts all over again
I live
Die

I live
Waiting to die